BITCH IN THE BOARDROOM
by
MONICA M. BURNS
Women are leading larger companies now more than ever, making their ways into boardrooms everywhere. While this is an ambitious attitude to possess and certainly admire; one that can very-well motivate other women to soar to higher heights in their careers...there is no need to be a bitch about it!
Now....being a bitch in Corporate America doesn’t apply to all....only to those women who are: (just to name a few)
❏ Afraid to lend a helping hand to the next woman for fear that she might take something from them.
❏ Constantly shooting down all ideas suggested by colleagues or subordinates for fear of looking incompetent, and taking the credit.
❏ Surrounding themselves with those who are less-qualified in their job skills and experience..... just so they can appear superior.
❏ Deceitfully threatening job security when they can’t get exactly what they want.
❏ Causing disruption amongst employees by gossiping.
❏ Exaggerating and Manipulating the job skills and experience of their employees, for the purposes of getting a project completed that no one else wants.
The above atrocities along with many others, really happens and is alive and kicking in Corporate America with some women. In a previous job I held many years ago, my immediate manager stated the following “I don’t get high-blood pressure....I give it!” This is one of the most inhumane statements I’ve ever heard spoken from anyone’s mouth, especially from a woman who held the highest position in the company and was considered “everyone’s boss.” She was regularly thrilled and thrived in her excitement, when she actually caused physical sickness and harm such as: Stress, Hypertension, and High-Blood Pressure within the Senior Management Staff. If she walked the halls and an employee was smiling and appeared happy, she automatically assumed that they weren’t working as hard as they could have been; so she immediately assigned more tasks to their already three-week stacked workload.
I was one of the members of the Senior Management Staff, whom she inflicted physical stress upon. This ultimately resulted in me taking a break from that position, to reevaluate and access the entire situation for my life and my career. Before I decided to leave for good......I implemented these tolerance methods into my workday, which made it a little more bearable.....until my last day at that company:
❏ This may sound redundant, but it helps. Incorporate an Affirmation, Quote or Prayer into your day before arriving to work. If allowed, also keep a written Affirmation, Prayer or Quote on your desk or computer.
❏ If you are faced in a confrontation with “HER,” always state your facts and speak your mind, but remain respectful. If you hold it all in, it will certainly eat away at you until the time comes when you are pushed to your edge.
❏ Never receive and own the negative energy that she’s attempting to attach to you. This is what she wants.
❏ If at all possible......play low volume soothing music in your office/cubicle to keep your spirits up and energized.
❏ Avoid “HER” as much as you can. Only see “HER” for assignments and other work-related circumstances. If you are completing your work tasks, there will not be a need to see her at all!
❏ When she calls...allow your voice-mail to pick-up. When she starts complaining (because she will), then take a call or two....but keep them very short. Try to communicate via Email if possible.
❏ Never allow “HER” the satisfaction to see that she is causing you stress. Allow “HER” to say whatever it is she has to say...and kindly excuse yourself from the environment. Yell when you get home or vent to a trusted friend for relief. When she finally gets it that her words can’t touch you anymore, she’ll leave you alone for the moment. Any temporary relief will suffice!
❏ Never allow “HER” to con you into taking on an assignment. If it’s not required of you, simply say no. What is she gonna do...fire you? She needs you, despite the negative energy she’s projecting.
❏ Finally....When her voice makes you cringe, when you feel nauseous waking-up the morning before work, and when your frustrations are being taken out on your family.....it is finally time to leave.
The above are methods I utilized to get through unbearable days, but I eventually had to take charge of that situation which was wrecking havoc in my life. “Did I love that job enough to continue to work under such stressful situations” or “Did I call it a day and leave her to eventually plummet to her own demise.” I chose the latter and currently have a less-stressed life doing work that I love and in my own business. When my work gets stressful, it is caused by me putting too much on myself....but I continue to enjoy it. I can take a break from my work, as opposed to having someone see me taking a break and assigning me more tasks.
What happened to “HER”....well let’s just say this: “She created her own destiny, the company car was taken from her on the property and she had to find another job and her own way home!”
“What You Put Out Into The Universe, You Get Back...Good or Bad!”
Monica M. Burns
Copyright (c)2007 Monica M. Burns. All Rights Reserved.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
SOLE COMFORT
Sole Comfort
by
Monica M. Burns
Okay ladies................the first thing some of us do when we are shopping for Stilettos is to see how cute that particular shoe would look on our feet, while others seek out the comfortableness of the shoe. We know that it won’t be totally comfortable, I mean after all, it is a 4-Inch Heel or Higher. But they are fabulous and we wear them anyway....right? At least that’s the height I wear! I do not own any shoes that are less than 4-Inches Tall and I am not particularly interested in doing so. But for those who are skeptical because of comfort, there are options.
Stilettos, when worn appropriately, shows a sign of confidence in the woman who’s wearing them. You are the envy of those who wish that they could walk comfortably in a pair of 4-Inch Stilettos. Men also like to observe women walking in high-heels, as it is a turn-on for most of them. Stilettos are wonderful shoes that should be in every woman’s wardrobe (at least one pair). If you are concerned with comfort, there are Dr. Scholl’s For Her Insoles with Massaging Gel and they are great for Sandals, Slides, and Pumps; they also stay in place inside the shoe. Try applying these in your heels. Your feet will be comfortable while also looking fabulous!
If your comfort issue has nothing to do with pain being inflicted on your feet, but you are concerned because you haven’t had much experience walking in them, you should practice! Purchase a heel that you would like to wear to a special event, a date, or a night out on the town with the girls. Wear the shoe at home on both hard and soft surfaces first, to get a true feel of the shoe, before you even attempt to wear them out in public. When you are confident that you can walk in your shoes comfortably without wobbling around clumsily, then you are ready to wear them out. I tell women this all the time..”There Is Nothing More Unattractive and Unconfident Than A Woman Wobbling Around Clumsily In A Wonderful Pair of Stilettos!”
When you wear your Stilettos, own your walk! Strut and Be Confident! If you are new to wearing high-heels, you may want to start with a wide chunky heel for balance and then gradually implement the skinnier heels into your wardrobe. If you choose to wear Stilettos, choose a quality pair with a sturdy heel. This means that you may have to splurge just a little.
Whatever style you choose, make sure you can walk comfortably in your Stilettos, and if you are new to wearing them, practice first!
Monica M. Burns
Copyright (c)2007 Monica M. Burns. All Rights Reserved.
by
Monica M. Burns
Okay ladies................the first thing some of us do when we are shopping for Stilettos is to see how cute that particular shoe would look on our feet, while others seek out the comfortableness of the shoe. We know that it won’t be totally comfortable, I mean after all, it is a 4-Inch Heel or Higher. But they are fabulous and we wear them anyway....right? At least that’s the height I wear! I do not own any shoes that are less than 4-Inches Tall and I am not particularly interested in doing so. But for those who are skeptical because of comfort, there are options.
Stilettos, when worn appropriately, shows a sign of confidence in the woman who’s wearing them. You are the envy of those who wish that they could walk comfortably in a pair of 4-Inch Stilettos. Men also like to observe women walking in high-heels, as it is a turn-on for most of them. Stilettos are wonderful shoes that should be in every woman’s wardrobe (at least one pair). If you are concerned with comfort, there are Dr. Scholl’s For Her Insoles with Massaging Gel and they are great for Sandals, Slides, and Pumps; they also stay in place inside the shoe. Try applying these in your heels. Your feet will be comfortable while also looking fabulous!
If your comfort issue has nothing to do with pain being inflicted on your feet, but you are concerned because you haven’t had much experience walking in them, you should practice! Purchase a heel that you would like to wear to a special event, a date, or a night out on the town with the girls. Wear the shoe at home on both hard and soft surfaces first, to get a true feel of the shoe, before you even attempt to wear them out in public. When you are confident that you can walk in your shoes comfortably without wobbling around clumsily, then you are ready to wear them out. I tell women this all the time..”There Is Nothing More Unattractive and Unconfident Than A Woman Wobbling Around Clumsily In A Wonderful Pair of Stilettos!”
When you wear your Stilettos, own your walk! Strut and Be Confident! If you are new to wearing high-heels, you may want to start with a wide chunky heel for balance and then gradually implement the skinnier heels into your wardrobe. If you choose to wear Stilettos, choose a quality pair with a sturdy heel. This means that you may have to splurge just a little.
Whatever style you choose, make sure you can walk comfortably in your Stilettos, and if you are new to wearing them, practice first!
Monica M. Burns
Copyright (c)2007 Monica M. Burns. All Rights Reserved.
Friday, October 5, 2007
DOES YOUR BOSS ENVY YOU?
Does Your Boss Envy You?
by
Monica M. Burns
Does she shoot down every idea or suggestion that you have in every meeting? Does she constantly bury you in work or does she give you any work to do at all? Does she make sly remarks on your wardrobe, and you know that you look good? If so, your boss is an insecure train wreck waiting to crash...and she’s envious of you!
Women are already judged for being too emotional in the work place and it doesn’t help if your boss is both emotional and envious. She feels threatened by your looks, your job knowledge, and your confidence. She does not possess any of those qualities, so she tries to incorporate intimidation into her management style, which in turn, attempts to put fear in your heart of her. She feels that the intimidation she is trying to push off on you, makes up for her shortcomings in confidence...none of which she has. It only makes her look foolish and unstable. These types of Women Managers can only function around those who are incompetent and less knowledgeable, because it’s what makes her feel powerful and smart.
These type of women thrive on stress-filled environments and feel that if they have made someone physically sick through stress-inducing endeavors, they have reached their quotas for the day. It is a sense of accomplishment for them , as sick and twisted as this may sound. These women also contribute to the deaths of their own careers. The higher-ups are taking notice and waiting on her to hang herself. She takes the bait and eventually she’s out-of-there. Sometimes it takes a minute, and most times it takes years....but eventually she’s gone, unless she’s the owner of the company! Then she’ll just put herself out of business!
We’ve all worked with someone who has tried to make our work days unbearable. Some of us have probably gotten sick from it also. You have choices! You can either leave that type of work environment for your health’s sake altogether, or you can stay and work to change the situation by talking with your boss or talking with her boss. Make your career life tolerable...because it is possible!
Monica Burns-Capers
Copyright (c)2007 Monica Burns-Capers. All Rights Reserved.
by
Monica M. Burns
Does she shoot down every idea or suggestion that you have in every meeting? Does she constantly bury you in work or does she give you any work to do at all? Does she make sly remarks on your wardrobe, and you know that you look good? If so, your boss is an insecure train wreck waiting to crash...and she’s envious of you!
Women are already judged for being too emotional in the work place and it doesn’t help if your boss is both emotional and envious. She feels threatened by your looks, your job knowledge, and your confidence. She does not possess any of those qualities, so she tries to incorporate intimidation into her management style, which in turn, attempts to put fear in your heart of her. She feels that the intimidation she is trying to push off on you, makes up for her shortcomings in confidence...none of which she has. It only makes her look foolish and unstable. These types of Women Managers can only function around those who are incompetent and less knowledgeable, because it’s what makes her feel powerful and smart.
These type of women thrive on stress-filled environments and feel that if they have made someone physically sick through stress-inducing endeavors, they have reached their quotas for the day. It is a sense of accomplishment for them , as sick and twisted as this may sound. These women also contribute to the deaths of their own careers. The higher-ups are taking notice and waiting on her to hang herself. She takes the bait and eventually she’s out-of-there. Sometimes it takes a minute, and most times it takes years....but eventually she’s gone, unless she’s the owner of the company! Then she’ll just put herself out of business!
We’ve all worked with someone who has tried to make our work days unbearable. Some of us have probably gotten sick from it also. You have choices! You can either leave that type of work environment for your health’s sake altogether, or you can stay and work to change the situation by talking with your boss or talking with her boss. Make your career life tolerable...because it is possible!
Monica Burns-Capers
Copyright (c)2007 Monica Burns-Capers. All Rights Reserved.
INSECURITY OR CONFIDENCE?
INSECURITY OR CONFIDENCE?
by
Monica M. Burns
Confidence in one’s self is an attractive character trait. It is a trait that sets us apart from the Insecure bunch and carries us through times that we initially thought we would never get through. Confidence assures our minds that we are able and capable to complete tasks and situations that are of great difficulty, and allows us to choose how we are going to handle the next obstacle. Confidence shows in us once we enter a room, once we speak to one another, and in our display of body language. When you are faking your Confidence.........others take notice!
Insecure people mirror the images that are presented before them and they often confuse their Insecure behavior with that of Confidence. Insecurities floats to the surface in people when they feel threatened by others, afraid, and incompetent. They can’t make decisions for themselves; instead, they attempt to duplicate the lives of those who they “claim to not like.” Insecure people tend to bully those around them and wish that they could be half of what others are. If you find yourself never having anything good to say about someone that has never done anything to you......you are Insecure. You secretly want what they have. You may secretly even want to be that person. If you find that you only want to be in the company of those who are less intelligent than you are.....you are Insecure. If you are in a relationship and you’re always belittling your better half because they are doing okay for themselves and you’re not doing so well at the moment......you are Insecure.
We are not born with Confidence, it is obtained from life’s experiences. For every obstacle we endure, and trial & tribulation we encounter, it builds.......Character. That Character develops into a Strong Armor which shields us from the stones thrown at us from others in the form of Negative Words, Negative Treatment, and Defamation. When Insecure people plan their attack, Confident people counter that attack, by not meriting their behavior with the same negative response.
Most Insecure people are content with their lives, but for those of you who want to escape from your own prison of negativity, there is hope for you. You must find out who you really are and what you strive to be. If you interact with people who you “really admire” and they have accomplished a goal similar to the goal that you’ve set for yourself; instead of speaking negatively about these people, why not pick their brains and ask for assistance on reaching your own goal. Insecure people really are “admirers” of those they wish to become. They camouflage their true feelings with hatred and negative behavior.
Confident people command attention without uttering one word. Upon entering any room, their presence is strong and they are self-assured and know exactly what they want out of life, and where they wish for life to take them. Confident people do not require the approval of others to feel important or validated. This assurance within them already exists. They don’t need the love of a spouse to feel whole, they already feel whole because of the love that presently resides within them. Confident people are competent and capable of all that life throws at them. There is no need for them to surround themselves with less than intelligent people to feel powerful. Instead, Confident people feel powerful because of their thirst for knowledge, and they surround themselves with the company of such people who possess a world of knowledge, life-experiences, and overwhelmingly intelligence. Confident people are life-long learners and they know that “Knowledge is the Real Power and True Key to unlocking and maintaining that Confidence.”
So for those of you who are Insecure and continuing to get in your own way, move and allow the presence of a Confident person to enter your life. You never know where it might lead you!
Copyright ©2007 Monica Burns-Capers. All Rights Reserved.
by
Monica M. Burns
Confidence in one’s self is an attractive character trait. It is a trait that sets us apart from the Insecure bunch and carries us through times that we initially thought we would never get through. Confidence assures our minds that we are able and capable to complete tasks and situations that are of great difficulty, and allows us to choose how we are going to handle the next obstacle. Confidence shows in us once we enter a room, once we speak to one another, and in our display of body language. When you are faking your Confidence.........others take notice!
Insecure people mirror the images that are presented before them and they often confuse their Insecure behavior with that of Confidence. Insecurities floats to the surface in people when they feel threatened by others, afraid, and incompetent. They can’t make decisions for themselves; instead, they attempt to duplicate the lives of those who they “claim to not like.” Insecure people tend to bully those around them and wish that they could be half of what others are. If you find yourself never having anything good to say about someone that has never done anything to you......you are Insecure. You secretly want what they have. You may secretly even want to be that person. If you find that you only want to be in the company of those who are less intelligent than you are.....you are Insecure. If you are in a relationship and you’re always belittling your better half because they are doing okay for themselves and you’re not doing so well at the moment......you are Insecure.
We are not born with Confidence, it is obtained from life’s experiences. For every obstacle we endure, and trial & tribulation we encounter, it builds.......Character. That Character develops into a Strong Armor which shields us from the stones thrown at us from others in the form of Negative Words, Negative Treatment, and Defamation. When Insecure people plan their attack, Confident people counter that attack, by not meriting their behavior with the same negative response.
Most Insecure people are content with their lives, but for those of you who want to escape from your own prison of negativity, there is hope for you. You must find out who you really are and what you strive to be. If you interact with people who you “really admire” and they have accomplished a goal similar to the goal that you’ve set for yourself; instead of speaking negatively about these people, why not pick their brains and ask for assistance on reaching your own goal. Insecure people really are “admirers” of those they wish to become. They camouflage their true feelings with hatred and negative behavior.
Confident people command attention without uttering one word. Upon entering any room, their presence is strong and they are self-assured and know exactly what they want out of life, and where they wish for life to take them. Confident people do not require the approval of others to feel important or validated. This assurance within them already exists. They don’t need the love of a spouse to feel whole, they already feel whole because of the love that presently resides within them. Confident people are competent and capable of all that life throws at them. There is no need for them to surround themselves with less than intelligent people to feel powerful. Instead, Confident people feel powerful because of their thirst for knowledge, and they surround themselves with the company of such people who possess a world of knowledge, life-experiences, and overwhelmingly intelligence. Confident people are life-long learners and they know that “Knowledge is the Real Power and True Key to unlocking and maintaining that Confidence.”
So for those of you who are Insecure and continuing to get in your own way, move and allow the presence of a Confident person to enter your life. You never know where it might lead you!
Copyright ©2007 Monica Burns-Capers. All Rights Reserved.
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